


There's a Kite Blowing Out of Control on the Breeze

by asdfghjkalice



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Multi, You Have Been Warned, just warning you now, like really painful, this will be painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3364337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfghjkalice/pseuds/asdfghjkalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After her sixteenth birthday Hero Duke gets sick, really sick. How will her friends cope with the possibility of losing her and can they regain everything that became broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. sixteen candles burning out

**Author's Note:**

> I am terribly sorry for any emotions that this fic may cause, trust me it makes me cry daily just thinking about it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t some stupid schoolboy sci-fi fantasy. This was real life and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Turn that camera off!” Ben shouted as he joined Beatrice in hurrying Hero off the scene. Had that really just happened? He knew what Claudio had been thinking, but he literally couldn’t believe that that was the action he had chosen to take. In what world would Hero do something like that, had he been dating the same Hero that everyone else knew? Pedro too, what the hell was up with that? It wasn’t news to him that they thought this, they’d made a video about it for God’s sake, but he thought they would see sense. He never thought it would come to this.

Hero was shaking in Bea’s arms, her sobs muffled by the fabric of Bea’s dress. Balthazar and Ursula were there too. Ben hadn’t realised they’d followed them out. He was surprised to see that Balthazar hadn’t sided with Pedro but he was glad that he was there.

“It’s okay Hero” Bea said over and over again, stroking a hand through her cousin’s soft blonde hair. The look of despair in her eyes, however told Ben that she didn’t believe the words she was saying.

There was a knock at the door and one of the guests came in.

“Ursula,” she said quietly “I have your camera”

“Why are you people still here?” Bea screamed, “This party is over!”

Angry Bea was enough to make anyone cry so he wasn’t surprised that when the girl quickly ran into the party room and told everyone to leave, they did.

Bea started crying after that, she had tried to be strong for Hero, too let her know that everything was going to be okay, but it all suddenly got too much for her and she broke down.

“What was that asshole even thinking” she said with tears in her eyes “How could Hero have done that?”

She looked at Ben in that moment and he just looked back at her. His eyes wide with sympathy for a situation he could do nothing about. There was no way to change the past unless he had a time machine of course. He didn’t of course because this wasn’t some stupid schoolboy sci-fi fantasy. This was real life, and the boy who he would have called his best friend had just publicly humiliated one of the nicest, kindest, most wonderful human beings ever to exist and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Bea, Claudio was complete dick but we’re here now. He’s not” Ben stuttered out, that was the only thing that he could think to say. He just didn’t want to see her cry.

“Yeah Bea” Ursula replied “We’re here if you need anything”

“Thanks guys” Bea sobbed, “I know I can always count on you, you’re the best”

“Me and Balth will go and tidy up now” Ursula said smiling encouragingly at Bea “You two stay here with Hero”

“You know Hero was right when she said about how wonderful you were” she answered “Both of you”

Ursula and Balthazar left after that, well they didn’t leave but they left the room and it left Ben alone with a sobbing Bea and an even harder sobbing Hero. Ben huddled by them holding both of their hands. Both needed support right now. Bea loved Hero and when Hero got hurt, Bea hurt and it killed Ben inside to see them this sad.

Nobody said anything for a while. They all just sat there collecting their thoughts of which there were a lot of.  It was still hard to believe what had happened. Hero had fallen asleep and Bea was playing with her hair, biting on her lip growing more and more nervous as time progressed. Once all of the cleaning had been done Ursula and Balthazar had left, Bea didn’t want them staying too long and they’d been such a great help already.

Hero woke up suddenly, sweating. Her breathing was sporadic and her heart was pounding. You could physically see her shaking.

“Hero…” Bea said her voice wobbling “Oh my God Hero, what’s wrong?”

“Bea” Hero replied, “Bea… Bea…”

“Yes Hero I’m here” she said holding her hand tighter but Hero just pulled away.

“I…” she started “Can’t… Breath…”

“Ben, call an ambulance now” Bea screamed. He sprinted across the room to where the phone was sitting. He lifted the handset and quickly dialed 111.

“Hello” he said into the phone “There’s a girl here who can’t breathe” the rest of the conversation was a blur. He was too worried about Hero to concentrate on anything. He told the emergency services the address and they had said they’d be there with an ambulance in a few minutes. 

“They’re on their way” Ben said rushing back over to where Bea and Hero were sitting.

The sirens sounded outside as the bright red lights shone through the window. Ben picked Hero up and carried her to the door, where the paramedic was ready to help her into the ambulance.

“You can go home now Ben,” Bea said “Thanks for everything you’ve done tonight”

“I’m not leaving you Bea” he said, “If you think for one second that I am leaving you, you are so wrong. I’m coming with you”

“No Ben,” she replied attempting to sound forceful but it ended up as a croak as the tears filled her eyes again.

“You can’t go to the hospital by yourself in this state” he said wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Bea let out a sob as he led her into the back of the ambulance where Hero was lying, growing more and more breathless every minute. She nestled her head into his shoulder as they began the drive to Auckland City Hospital, desperately hoping that whatever was wrong with Hero wasn’t too serious. He could feel his shoulder growing damp as her tears landed on the fabric of his shirt. He wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her close to him. It remained that way for the remainder of the journey to the hospital. If this experience was hard for him he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Bea must be feeling.


	2. within these walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a saying that hospital walls have heard more prayers than church walls. Tonight was no exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh daily update (half term means lots of extra writing time) don't get too used to this!

This was the worst night of her life. Bea had spent so much time helping Hero plan this party. She’d seen her get increasingly excited for it over the past few months and now when the night had finally arrived it had all gone to pot. Claudio was a dick, Pedro was a dick, basically everyone had been a dick and now Hero was in hospital on the eve of her sixteenth birthday. Happy Birthday Hero.

“This isn’t your fault you know?” a voice beside her said. It was Benedick. How was it that the person who she proclaimed ‘the biggest dick in the world’, was the only person to remain by her side? How had her judgment been so wrong? All these years Pedro had been her best friend. Mr. ‘All-round-great-guy’. But as soon as one little thing happened to one of his friends, he was out the door. And he’d sided with Claudio of all people! He’d literally known the guy for about five minutes, never mind how he’d known Hero for years. Was he bitter after her rejection of him a few months back that suddenly their friendship didn’t stand anymore? That didn’t sound like Pedro though, did it? There were so many questions rushing through Bea’s head that she’d almost forgotten that Ben had said anything.

“I know it’s just, I’m so worried. The aunties aren’t here and I don’t want them to worry, it’s just all so hard” she cried, “People are such idiots”

The waiting room was eerily quiet; Bea and Ben were the only ones there. They had been given the special family waiting room. They were allocated it after a family had just been informed by a doctor that their son had been killed in a drunk-driving incident. The mother had been in hysterics, understandably of course, they’d just lost the person that they loved most in the whole world. Bea desperately prayed that the same fate wouldn’t greet them. They couldn’t lose Hero. Before long they heard a knock on the door, and a doctor walked in.

“You are here with Hero Duke?” he asked

“Yes” Bea stuttered “is she alright?”

“She suffered from Bronchopulmonary dysplasia as an infant?”

“Yes, but is she alright?”

“Has she suffered any stress recently?”

“Just tell me if she’s alright?” Bea screamed in his face “I need to know”

“Bea, calm down” Ben said, rubbing his thumb gently across her shoulder in order to soothe her. It calmed her down ever so slightly but still her mind was filled with a sea of thoughts about Hero.

“We think some sort of stress might have triggered something and caused her lungs to stop working properly” the doctor said. “We can’t currently clarify what exactly is wrong but it shouldn’t be life threatening. We have her in a ward and she’s on oxygen to keep her levels constant.  You can come up and see her whenever you feel ready. A nurse will point you in the right direction” With that he left them with a courteous nod bringing them back to silence.

“I don’t think I’m ready to go up just yet” Bea said softly so that Ben could only just hear it.

“We don’t have to,” Ben said offering an encouraging smile, “We can just stay here for a bit, if that’s what you’d prefer”

What had prompted Bea to kiss his cheek she didn’t know but somehow she found herself doing just that.

“Thank you” she said resting her hands on his shoulders. “For everything. You’ve gone completely out of your way tonight to keep me sane and for that I will be eternally grateful. I honestly don’t think I would have gotten through tonight without you”

He kissed her then. On the lips this time, not the cheek. It didn’t last longer than a few seconds but that was all that Bea needed. There hadn’t been anything special about it, she didn’t even know his motivation behind it but somehow she found that it filled her with a new sense of assurance. It was as if she was back to her usual self like a switch had been flipped and suddenly was back to being powerful Bea. The Bea that would handle anything that the world threw at her and right now, the world had thrown her a seriously ill cousin who she was going to take care of even if it killed her. She grabbed Ben’s hand “I think I’m ready to see Hero now”

When they exited the room a nurse was waiting outside and guided them to where Hero was lying. It pained her to see her looking like that, lifeless and limp. Her usually bright, dewy skin was almost white and her hair was still sitting as perfectly as ever. Neither Bea nor Ben said anything in the whole length of time that they were in the ward. They just stood there hand in hand, observing. The steady beeping of the ECG was the only noise penetrating the quietness.


	3. shards of life are left behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time Pedro was an all round great guy but now he's just an asshole that messed up an innocent girls life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **trigger warning for homophobia**

“Hero’s dead”. Verges’ words echoed around Pedro’s brain as he walked. He’d driven to school earlier that day but now he just felt the need to walk home, he could come back and pick up his car later anyway. Pedro walked when he was stressed and right now he had plenty to be stressed about. For starters he had acted like the biggest dick in the world, he’d sided with Claudio in this whole debacle with Hero and now all of his friends hated him. Claudio was the only person he had left and right now he didn’t want Claudio. How had he been so bloody blind! Hero had looked at Claudio like he was her sun, there’s no way she would ever cheat on him, especially with Robbie. He could see that now. If he could go back in time and change the way he acted, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Pedro walked across a section of the footpath covered in broken glass and stopped for a minute. He wasn’t normally one for making grand metaphors, that was Ben’s job but as he looked down at the glass it reminded him of his life. It was broken. Only a few weeks ago he had been the Prince of Messina, adored by all, commonly known as ‘All Round Great Guy’ but now that it was going to come out that he was the one in the wrong everything was going to get worse. He hadn’t known that Hero had been sick. He merely assumed that she was just skipping school so that she didn’t need to face everyone. He never thought that she would die. She had died all because of him.

When he got home he was so exhausted from his thoughts that he headed straight to his room, his mum and dad may have been worried about him but he didn’t care he just needed rest. With John gone everything about his house was different, it didn’t feel safe anymore. His parents were constantly on his back about where he was, in case he had run away too, but right now he was strongly considering it.

Pedro found himself reaching for his phone and doing something he hadn’t found himself doing since Hero’s party.

**To Balthazar:** I miss you

**To Balthazar:** I know I’ve been a shit person recently but I really miss you

**To Balthazar:** Can we talk?

He waited up for an hour for a reply but none came, so Pedro finally succumbed to sleep.

He woke up at eleven the next morning, and there was still no reply from Balthazar, was his biggest fear coming true, did Balthazar gate him after everything that he’d done. He hoped to God that that wasn’t true, but currently he had no evidence to think otherwise.  

Although there was no text from Balthazar, he awoke to find an update from YouTube.

 ‘Nothing Much to Do’ has uploaded a new video ‘Hero’

A deep pit formed in Pedro’s chest as he clicked on the video, already aware of what it was going to say. Bea looked so heartbroken that it physically pained him to watch. Suddenly when he began focusing on the video he realised that Hero wasn’t dead. She was however sick and they were holding a vigil for her in the park. Pedro immediately wrote the date and time down on a piece of paper, he was going to make sure to be there so that he could publicly apologize for being such an ass for the past few weeks. He grabbed his phone to text Claudio but instead found a reply from Balthazar.

**From Balthazar:** Hi Pedro, I guess you’ve heard the news by now. Meet me at the usual spot in half an hour.

A wave of happiness surged through his body, Balthazar wanted to meet him.  Granted he didn’t sound overly enthusiastic about it, there wasn’t even a smiley face but still Pedro was excited. He was getting to see his best friend again after weeks of not speaking. For obvious reasons though, they had chosen different sides in an incident that had torn their once tight knit group right down the middle.

He could remember the day that he had first become friends with Balthazar. It was in year nine when Balthazar had first come out. He vividly remembers walking down the hallway and seeing three guys from year ten holding Balthazar up by the scruff of his shirt and threatening him.

_“Hey what’s going on?” Pedro said as he marched up to them “What are you doing?”_

_“HAH little Pedro Donaldson,” The largest of the three said “trying to stick up for your little fag of a friend are you”_

_“He’s not my friend” Pedro said calmly, “but if you lay one more finger on him I swear I will hurt you”_

_“Is that so?” another replied as they turned back to face Balthazar continuing to torture him._

The next thing Pedro remembered was his fist covered in blood after punching one of them in the face. He’d almost gotten suspended for it, but he had even then, managed to use his charm to wiggle himself into only serving a detention. Pedro and Balthazar had been friends ever since, and since that day no one had laid a finger on Balthazar again at least not to Pedro’s knowledge. That was one of his policies as Student leader. That everyone should be accepted, no matter who they are. Boy had he broken that one.

When Pedro arrived at the park bench, Balthazar was already there. He smiled at Pedro and beckoned him over. They talked for a while, meaningless conversation but it helped Pedro regain his confidence that a friendship with Balthazar was still something that could be salvage from the wreckage that was his life. Balthazar had brought his guitar; really he brought it with him everywhere no matter how inconvenient that place might be. He just always had to have it near him. He played Pedro his latest song. He’d missed hearing Balthazar play, usually he would sit under the tree beside the pitch during football practice and strum his ukulele but it had been weeks since he’d last been there. It was an Elizabethan poem that he had set to the most beautiful melody that Pedro had ever heard. What had he done in his life to have a friend as wonderful as Balthazar?

“Balth?” Pedro asked once he was finished playing.

“Mhm?” Balthazar replied looking up to him.

“Do you forgive me?” There was silence for a while before Balthazar spoke again.

“I think so” he sighed “I’ve missed you too”

“Because I am so sorry for everything that I’ve done and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to convey that to Hero at this vigil thing. I just…”

“Dude I know” Balthazar replied smiling “You’ve told me like a hundred times.”

“So you’re not mad?” Pedro asked

“I could never be mad at you?”

He looked like he was about to say something else but had suddenly stopped himself, he didn’t question it though. He was just happy to have his best friend back in his life.

Pedro and Balthazar met up a lot more in the week leading up to the vigil, Pedro helped Balthazar finalize his song for Hero, Pedro knew very little about music except what he had learned from Balthazar, but he adored hearing Balthazar play after so long. Balthazar helped Pedro with his speech for Hero, Balthazar had a real way with words, his songwriting told that clearly so when Pedro struggled to get his feelings down on paper, Balthazar stepped in to help him, It felt so bloody great to hang out with Balthazar again, he had meant what he said in the text. He really did miss him.

When the vigil came round, he arrived with Claudio. Claudio had done an elaborate speech about how sorry he was about what had happened to Hero, he actually came across as incredibly cocky, saying bullshit like, ‘Hero being sick was the best thing that could have happened’. Pedro found himself thinking about how he had stood up for this asshole that clearly had no respect for a girl who he had once called one of his best friends.

When it came to Pedro’s turn to speak he thought back over all of the things he had planned with Balthazar but ended up scrapping them completely and ended up with something completely.

“I had a speech prepared, but honestly what I need to say can’t be rehearsed, it has to come from the heart. I am truly deeply, one hundred percent sorry for everything I’ve done. I’m such a dick and if you never want to forgive me for all the crappy things I’ve done, I totally understand that but for now let me just say that… I’m sorry”

Pedro had left almost as soon as the camera had been switched off he wasn’t ready just yet to come face to face with the wrath of Beatrice Duke. He wondered if he would ever be ready. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he left the park.

**From Balthazar:** Good job today Peddy :) sometimes the greatest things to say are the things we didn’t know we needed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating this more quickly I've been pretty busy recently, also sorry this is ridiculously long I just have a lot of Pedro emotions to take care of.


	4. sincerely, beatrice duke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea digs out her old diary, and discovers the art of expressing emotions

Dear Diary,

Okay, This is potentially the most juvenile thing I’ve ever done. I haven’t written here in years but today seems like as good a day as any to start again. Especially now since… Hero has been sick but, you know that right?

Who am I kidding! I haven’t written here since like 2009 I wasn’t even in Auckland back then. So much has changed since then. Anyway, yesterday we showed Hero the video we shot at the vigil. She’s still sick and she’s not getting any better. So we don’t even know whether she even understood the vigil footage but it’s nice for her to feel loved, especially after how she felt before she got sick.

 I’m really worried.

The aunties are back in town.  We didn’t want to disturb them on their honeymoon but when Hero started getting worse we had to. We haven’t told them about any of the events leading up to whatever it is that actually happened. The doctors still don’t know what caused it.

Remember Pedro, my so called best friend. Yeah he’s being a bit of a dick. He sided with Claudio, who by the way is the greatest asshat in the entire universe oh my god I have had enough of that douchebag I just want to scream. One second diary I am actually going to scream.

Oh and Benedick, Pretty sure I talked about him a lot. Mr. “Friendships are like butterflies they die in three days” yeah he’s back in my life. He was amazing with dealing with Me and all the Hero drama. He’s really matured and we kissed. This is really starting to sound like a bloody journal but I think I love him. Not that I’ve admitted it to him yet, God that could never happen. Let’s just forget I ever wrote that okay.

 

The hospital just called and Hero is allowed visitors now so I’m going to go now Diary, It’s been nice catching up with you maybe I’ll write in you sometime again. This has really been therapeutic, apparently letting out your feelings is really good.

Sincerely, Beatrice Duke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not really sure what this chapter's doing, sorry about that.


	5. be you blithe and bonny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar plays his song for Hero at the hospital.

When Balthazar’s phone blurted in his ear at eight in the morning, he pulled his head back under the covers as he cursed the morning light streaming through the gap in his curtains which was going to prevent him from getting back to sleep. Who the hell texts someone at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning? Beatrice apparently was the answer to that question as his screen flashed up at him again depicting another message from Beatrice.

**From Beatrice:** HERO CAN HAVE VISITORS!!!!!!!!!!!!

**From Beatrice:** Meet at the hospital at 10.30

Balthazar squinted at the phone, its bright light hurting his eyes. Balthazar hated mornings, he tried to avoid them as best he could when school wasn’t on but seemingly that plan had been cancelled for him.

**To Beatrice:** I’ll be there, Can I bring my guitar? I’d love to play Hero the song I’ve written for her.

He waited for a response, ever since his day with Pedro he’d been waiting to play the song for Hero, he had finalized it a few days ago and Pedro had stuck it up on YouTube, just in case Hero had to hear it second hand, but hearing a song live is a completely different experience, it allows you to connect more to the music and this was something that Hero had to hear for herself.

**From Beatrice:** Thanks Balth :) I just asked the people at the hospital, Hero’s in a ward by herself so it shouldn’t be a problem, I’ve seen the video and I’m sure Hero will love it!

Balthazar sometimes went to the hospital to sing with some of the children who were there, so he knew it shouldn’t be a problem for him to bring his guitar, most of the staff knew him anyway. He loved singing to the children it really allowed him to share his love of music with the people that needed it most. He always brought along his ukulele and sang some nursery rhymes with them, he even sang some Disney when he was in the mood. He’d had to stop going recently as he’d had other things to concentrate but just thinking about playing in the hospital again made him eager to go back.

Balthazar spent a while practicing, he wanted to make sure that his song was perfect before he played it for Hero. He lost track of time, he often did that when music was involved so he ended up quickly showering and throwing on his favourite oversized sweater and jeans before jumping in his car and heading to the hospital. Bea and Ben were already there when he arrived.

“Hey guys,” Balthazar said as he approached the pair in the foyer.

“Hey man” Ben said in response, “Ursula is already up there, if you want to head up”

“Are you two not going up?” He asked.

“We’ve been up there all morning” Ben replied smiling gently, whilst rubbing the back of Beatrice’s hand with his thumb, “We thought we’d let other people see her”

“Okay then” Balthazar replied, “See you later guys”

“Balthazar!” Beatrice called after him “take care of her”

He hopped in an elevator, carrying his guitar up several flights of stairs wasn’t really an appealing option, when he reached the floor where Hero’s ward was located he exited and ended up bumping into one of the Nurses called Julie.

“Balthazar” she said shocked, he had just rammed into her so it was to be expected, “I didn’t realise you were coming in today?”

“I’m here for my friend Hero today,” He said “I’ve written her a song so I’m just here to play it for her”

“Oh” She replied “The children miss you a lot, they’re always asking when the music man is coming back in”

Balthazar smiled “I miss them a lot too. I’d love to come back some time soon, if you’ll have me?”

“Of course” Julie replied “It hasn’t been the same since you stopped. Any way I should get back to work. It was nice to see you again Balthazar.”

“You too Julie”

Balthazar progressed towards the ward where Hero was staying and true enough, when he arrived, Ursula was already there.

“Hey Urs” He greeted as he popped his head round the door.

“Hi Balthy” she responded “Do you want me to leave?”

“Nah, you can stay, I’m just going to play Hero my song”

Hero was definitely still sick; there was no question of a doubt about that. She was still lying there just as motionless as Bea and Ben had described her on the first day, but there was definitely some colour in her cheeks and her chest was moving up and down. He wasn’t even sure whether she’d be able to hear the song but that wasn’t going to stop him from playing it whole heartedly. He sat down and got ready to play. Having Ursula in the room helped to calm his nerves, she always managed to do that somehow. He began to play the riff and opened his mouth to begin singing.

_Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more;_  
Men were deceivers ever;  
One foot in sea and one on shore,  
To one thing constant never;  
Then sigh not so,  
But let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny;  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into. Hey, nonny, nonny

_Sing no more ditties, sing no more_  
Of dumps so dull and heavy;  
The fraud of men was ever so,  
Since summer first was leavy.  
Then sigh not so,  
But let them go,  
And be you blithe and bonny;  
Converting all your sounds of woe  
Into, Hey, nonny, nonny.

As he struck the last chord he could have sworn he saw a smile on Hero’s face. He could have been imagining it of course but it gave him a glimmer of hope that maybe soon Hero would get better. He knew Bea hoped that too. Everyone did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone needs more Balthazar in their life


	6. do you wanna go out with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Bea can think about is Hero, so Ben decides to try and take her mind off it by taking her out on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently getting all my homework done means that I have time to write,who knew?

“It’s a date Bea. That involves going out somewhere” Ben said as he tried to drag his girlfriend out of the house.

“But I need to stay here in case anything happens to Hero” she said defiantly

“Hero’s mums are here now” Ben reassured her “They can call you if anything happens, Right?” He nodded at them.

“Right” they said back simultaneously.

“Honestly Beatrice don’t worry” one said as she threw her arms around Bea, “Have a wonderful night”

“I’ll have her back by ten” Ben called back as he and Bea finally left, waving goodbye to the Dukes.

Bea had been so stressed out lately over all of the Hero stuff that Ben really just thought she needed a night off and it was his job to make sure that that happened. Since he and Beatrice had started dating they’d never been on a proper date, it was always late night phone calls and trips to the hospital to visit Hero. Was Ben selfish for just once wanting to do something normal for once?

They were going out for a meal and then to the bowling alley, it wasn’t going to be a typical day with Bea and Ben without some competitive edge to it. Ben had insisted on driving much to Beatrice’s dismay but all he wanted was for her to relax for a while. He pulled up outside, their favourite pizza restaurant. The gang were regulars there. Any time they had something to celebrate they automatically ended up in the same pizzeria, but this was the first time that Bea and Ben had gone alone.  

“Beatrice Duke” a large Italian man said upon their entry into the restaurant.  His eyes travelled to behind where Ben had just come in clearly expecting to see the rest of the group. “But where are the others?”

“It’s just me and Ben tonight Dante” she said smiling. Ben always noted how beautiful she looked when she smiled.

“It’s kind of a date” he said shooting a small wink at the man.

“Ah” Dante replied, smirking at both of them. “Finally” He led them to their seats, it wasn’t the usual booth that they sat at when they came with their friends, no, this time they were sitting at a smaller table perfect for only two people.

“Did everyone see this apart from us?” Bea asked.

“Apparently so” Ben replied, “I mean no one’s been surprised”

“Yeah they’ve all just sighed as if they were sighing in relief”

“I should be the one sighing since I’m stuck with you” he said intending to be sarcastic however it appears it didn’t come across that way.

“If you don’t want to do this I will happily go back home” she replied coldly “It’s not like I wanted to be here in the first place. This was all your stupid idea, remember?”

“Oh my God Bea, I was joking!” He exclaimed “there is no one else that I’d rather spend tonight with and you know that”

She looked at him and he beamed as he saw the corners of her mouth turn up into a smile. It meant the most to Ben when Bea smiled at him that anyone else. To have gone from Hatred to what he presumed was love in such a short period of time always gave him such a thrill. Every time she smiled, it just clarified it to him that they were right where they were meant to be.  

They ended up ordering a large 24” pizza to share between them, half with pepperoni for Beatrice and half with Hawaiian for Ben.  They talked and ate for over an hour before finally getting the bill from Dante and leaving for the bowling alley. Apparently Dante had been so excited by the news of their relationship that he had given them ten percent off their meal.

When they arrived at the bowling alley, Bea sprinted out of Ben’s car and towards the door. It appeared that the competition had already started and they weren’t even out of the parking lot yet. Bowling had always been one of their favourite things to do together, as it allowed them to be competitive but have fun at the same time, and bowling was something that everyone was good at. Well everyone except for Ben that is! He’d always found bowling hard, his long gangly limbs always got in the way, that was his excuse anyway but this time he was desperate to beat his abysmal attempt from last time and at least get close to Bea’s score. They had first met at this same bowling alley back when they were ten.

“I’m so going to beat you” Bea chuckled as Ben began to catch her up on her way through the door, long legs were good for something.

“Is that so,” he said “I think I’m going to wipe the floor with you”

“Not likely” she laughed “You are literally the worst bowler on the planet”

True enough he lived up to that title, Bea definitely won that game but they did however have a lot of fun playing, and it even made Bea stop worrying so much about Hero so although he may not have won the bowling tournament, In fact he lost all three games quite spectacularly, the night was definitely a success. Ben dropped Beatrice home, no later than ten as he had promised. Bea kissed his cheek upon exiting the car for the final time that night. The feel of her warm lips against his cheek lingered there long after they had left.

“Thanks dickface” she said so compassionately that it almost sounded like a compliment. “Tonight was really fun”

You could even say that this was the night that he fell in love with Beatrice Duke all over again.


	7. turning saints into the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being alone is a good thing. For Claudio it meant time to think over all of the crappy things that he's done.

To say that Claudio felt bad for everything that he’d done was an understatement. The true matter of fact was that it ate him alive inside just to think about it. He’d been warned his whole life about jealousy. He’d heard stories about jealousy, hell he’d even seen it. He’d seen his fair share of girls turn into psychotic bitches over tiny things, but he’d never thought that it could ever affect him.

He’d been pretty messed up since the Hero ordeal. A lot of girls had come up to him since saying how sorry they felt for him. “I can’t believe she cheated on you?” many would say as they approached him fluttering their eyelids. It had all been flirting none of them were really sorry for him, they just wanted to get into his pants. He’d been with a lot of girls in the weeks after the party. So many that if you asked him to name them all he probably couldn’t. Most of them had been hook ups out of pity; meaningless, casual sex, just to get his mind off Hero. She had broken him. He was never like that before. He had never done anything with Hero. She was too good for that.

Since Dogberry and Verges had forced the truth out of Robbie all that Claudio had been feeling was guilt. All of his hatred towards Hero for what he thought she had done was banished and had been replaced with hatred for himself. He often found himself alone at the local bar downing a pint, or by himself in his room wallowing in his own sadness. None of his old friends wanted anything to do with him, even Pedro, who had been his solace through the whole palaver, had abandoned him and gone off with Balthazar somewhere. Pedro was always sending time with Balthazar, more than usual anyway. Seeing all of his old friends being friends without him, really made him feel even more alone.  Being alone did have its perks though. It meant that he could eavesdrop on other people’s conversations without seeming too suspicious and in the past few weeks he’d become very good at it.

“Have you been to see Hero yet?” he overheard Balthazar asking Pedro.

“Yeah” he replied “I popped in a few days ago, just for a few minutes. I don’t think Bea would have liked me there” His face sunk at this point, Claudio didn’t need to look he could tell by the tone of his voice.

“Don’t worry man,” Balthazar reassured him. “Bea’ll come around. You two have been friends forever”

“I don’t want my dickish moves to come between that” Pedro sighed placing his head in his hands. “But she just won’t accept my apology”

“She’s mad at you for a reason” Balthazar replied “If she didn’t want to forgive you she wouldn’t be talking to you”

“I guess” Pedro replied. They moved on after that but that conversation rang through Claudio’s brain for the rest of the day.

It wasn’t by chance that he found himself at Auckland City Hospital the following day. He’d been kicking a ball at a wall outside his house. He often did that to vent his anger. His anger problem was another thing that party gate had taught him about himself, so he thought it wiser to take his emotions out on the ball and the wall rather than on a person, he couldn’t hurt anyone the way he hurt Hero ever again. As he’d kicked the ball pretty hard it had rebounded off the wall and landed in the middle of the road, a car had come tearing round the corner as he’d been retrieving his ball. The car hadn’t hit him thankfully but he’d fallen and hurt his leg in the process of quickly exiting the scene before anything fatal had happened. So now he sat in the emergency room with a pair of crutches. The leg wasn’t broken so there was no cast but the doctor had insisted on giving him crutches so that he could walk more easily and he didn’t need to support as much weight on his injured limb.

As he was already at the hospital and he had forty five minutes to kill before one of his parents could arrive to pick him up, he thought he would pay a visit to a room he should have visited a long time ago, to say some things that he should have said a long time ago.

“Hello” He said to one of the receptionists, “I’m here to visit Hero Duke”

“Do you know where you’re going?” the lady asked him.

“Nah,” He replied “It’s my first visit.”

“I see” she said “she’s in ward 25 on the third floor”

Claudio made his way up, hopping up each stair one by one, rehearsing his words in his head. It would have been easier to take the lift but the more time he had to think the better. When he finally reached the third floor he found a nurse who pointed him in the direction of Hero’s ward. When he arrived it was empty with the exception of Hero lying there, still.

Nothing had prepared him for the sight of her motionless body lying there, he had done this. He was responsible for what had happened. Nobody deserved this, especially not Hero. The last time he had made a speech to her it had caused this mess, so upon seeing her, he completely disregarded everything that he had been thinking on his way to the room and fell down onto his knees. Another speech from Claudio was not what needed to be done now.

“I’m sorry” he sobbed into his knees as his tears dampened his jeans, the rough fabric rubbing against his cheeks as he stifled his sobs. He pulled himself closer to the bed where Hero lay. He reached up and grabbed her hand, caressing it gently. “I’m sorry”

He could have sworn that after that he felt her fingers curl around his, holding his hand like she used to, back when things were simpler, back when he hadn’t been a jerk although in truth, he probably always had been, it just hadn’t been unmasked yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i quite like how this chapter ended up I've never really written Claudio before but this was fun, the next chapter will be a happy one i promise ;)


	8. i'm waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She took a deep breath. It was the first she had taken in weeks. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been breathing as such, just not very well.

She took a deep breath. It was the first she had taken in weeks. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been breathing as such, just not very well. There was a masked clasped around her mouth which had been feeding her with oxygen, but now she didn’t need it. There were doctors crowded around her bed, all with looks of awe cast across their faces.

“How did this happen?” she heard one of them say.

“The boy left crying, so I went to check on her” a nurse said, “and her heart rate was normal and her breathing was steady”

“It’s a miracle” the same doctor replied before realising that Hero’s eyes were open and she was staring up at them. “Miss Duke?”

Hero continued to stare, she wanted to say something but she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t been completely out black for the past few weeks; there had been moments of consciousness. She had recognized voices. Bea and Ben had come to visit her together. They’d stopped arguing which was good. Bea had also cried a lot which wasn’t good. When Bea was upset, Hero was upset and what hurt most of all was that Bea was upset because of her. She’d also heard Ursula and Balthazar’s voices as well as what she thought was Balthazar’s guitar. She couldn’t make out what they were saying but she could hear the voices. She’d even heard John Donaldson, why he had come she still didn’t know although she’d heard Pedro too so maybe the whole family had come to visit. There was one voice that she heard that overpowered all of the others. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes ago and it couldn’t have been more than a few words but just hearing that voice, the voice that had accused her so horribly a few weeks ago, had made something click in her brain and it slowly pulled her out of the comatose state that she had been in _‘I’m Sorry’_ she heard his words echo around her brain and felt his hand slowly touch hers. Feeling in someone’s presence again helped, even if it was the last person that she wanted it to be, the person that she had loved and had loved her in return. She closed her hand.

The mask was lifted off her face and she took her first breath of natural air for weeks. The doctors hovered for a few moments just to make sure that she was breathing properly and then left the mask on the table beside her bed and switched off the oxygen. She was finally better and hopefully that would mean she could go home.

“Phone the Duke’s” she heard someone say outside. “Hero has made a remarkable recovery. I think she should be free to go home any day now”

***

“Hero” Beatrice squealed as she ran into the room where her cousin used to lie. Now she was sitting up and looking as healthy as she could ever remember. Leo and her parents followed behind, beaming smiles on their faces.

“My baby girl is better”

“Mum! Mumma! What are you doing here?” Hero exclaimed matching the look of content on their faces.

“We had to come home because Beatrice told us you were sick” she said “We weren’t going to leave you here on your own, what sort of parents would do that?”

“Anyway Bea wants to fill you in on everything you’ve missed” Hero could have sworn she’d seen her mum just wink at Bea. Could she really have missed out on that much? How much can happen in such a short period of time? Or maybe a few weeks wasn’t as short a period of time as she had first thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hero is better!!!! Stay tuned tomorrow to find out all of Bea's news.


	9. i miss missing you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice fills Hero in on all the stuff that she's been missing since being sick

Bea waited until the others had left the room before speaking.

“So…” Hero said beckoning her to say something.

“I don’t even know where to start”

“Start at the beginning”

“Well, Ben and I are together” Bea said quickly tipping her head slightly. Hero squealed.

“For real?” Hero said. Bea nodded and Hero threw her arms around her. “I’m so happy for you! You two are honestly perfect for each other you know?”

“Yeah well there’s more,”

“Who else is together then?” Hero asked jokingly, but seriously too, she really wanted to know everything that she had missed.

“Pedro and Balthazar are heading somewhere but that’s not officially official yet.” Bea said, “P came out to all of us as bi a few days ago so we all thought that it would happen then but they’ve hit a brick wall since so who knows?”

“Wow” Hero replied laughing “I really did miss a lot didn’t I?” Although she was laughing and smiling Bea could detect the pain in her voice and took that as a cue to hug her.

“I’ve missed you” Bea sobbed into her shoulder as Hero squeezed her back.

“I’ve missed you too” Hero said. “You, and Leo, and Mum, and Mumma, and everyone”

Bea wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand “Anyway, More news?”

“As much as possible”

“Ursula’s year nines managed to solve your whole birthday stint”

“Really?” she asked “So Claud knows I didn’t cheat? And Meg too?”

“It was all set up by John Donaldson of all people” Bea explained “Apparently some bullshit about him hating Pedro, the whole thing was just ridiculously juvenile. John ran away after the whole thing came out. No one’s seen him since the Donaldsons are all really worried. Pedro especially, he thinks it’s all his fault.”

“John came to see me” Hero stuttered

“What?” Bea shouted “When?”

“I don’t know when and I don’t know why I just heard his voice. I don’t even know what he said I just heard his deep English drawl, I’m sorry”

“No, don’t be sorry” Bea said “This is good we can tell the Donaldsons. I’m sure that will ease them a little”

“Is that all the news Bea?” Hero asked “Or is there anything else earth shatteringly awesome that I’ve missed?”

“Nah I think I’ve covered it all pretty well” Bea smirked, before suddenly remembering something. “Oh Balth wrote you a song. I think he played it for you here but he’ll probably want you to hear it again”

“That’s definitely something to look forward to” Hero smiled “Can you send Mum and Mumma in now please Bea?”

“Of course” Bea said, hugging her one more time before making her way out of the ward toward where her aunts were standing with Leo. “I love you Hero”

“I love you too Bea”


	10. slightly different than before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero comes home to find that everything is exactly the same as she left it but at the same time everything is completely different.

Hero stepped inside her house for the first time since her birthday party. Her parents were home, she felt bad about making them come home early from their honeymoon but she had missed them terribly. She was sure that they’d never leave them on their own ever again, not after what had happened. Her mums still didn’t know all the details of what had happened, all they knew was that Hero had taken sick. They didn’t know anything about her party and everything that had happened with Claudio. They didn’t need too. They had wanted to throw a party for Hero for coming home from hospital but Bea had rejected that idea on her behalf. They were having a gathering however but it was just going to be a small group of people, Hero’s closest friends and family. The ‘Happy Birthday Hero’ banner had been replaced with a ‘Welcome Home Hero” banner but it all looked sickeningly familiar.

Hero went into the kitchen were her mums were getting food ready for the get together later on that evening.

“Welcome home Honey”

“Thanks Mumma” Hero replied smiling.

“It’s great to have you back” her mum replied

“It’s great to be back” she said, possibly lying slightly. It wasn’t really great to be back. Not when everything reminded her of that night. “I’m going to head up to my room now and get ready”

She didn’t get ready just yet. Instead, Hero sat down on her bed and looked at the walls. The posters and painting that hung around her bed. They were all exactly the same yet somehow they all felt entirely different. Each one held a special memory. That was why she kept them around her bed. They helped to fill her with a sense of peace and tranquility just as she drifted off to sleep. She looked at the poster of Benedict Cumberbatch that hung just above her pillow, she didn’t care much for him but she knew that he was Bea’s favourite so she hung it there to remind her of Bea and that always calmed her down. The drawings that hung reminded her of her childhood and how carefree everything was back then, so different to now. There were postcards from family holidays and even some pictures that she had randomly found while on the internet or reading a magazine. Those things hadn’t changed and she still had all of the wonderful memories held within those pictures, but everything in the room had been tainted with the memories of that night that nothing was ever going to be the same again.

She checked her phone. It was sitting on her bedside table, right where she had left it on her birthday. There were hundreds of messages. As she scrolled through them she noticed a pattern.  The most recent ones read:

**From Meg:** I’m so glad you’re better again babes I’ve missed you, see you tonight hunbun xx

**From Ann Donaldson:** It’s so wonderful to hear that you’re better Hero, we’ll be sure to call in and see you when we can :)

**From Ursula:** Hi Hero  :) It’s great to hear that you’re better. We need to have a day out soon. But I’ll see you tonight, I hope you have a great day x

As she got to the older messages she found they also had a theme, and most of them seemed to be from Pedro.

**From Pedro:** I’m sorry

**From Pedro:** I honestly can’t say I’m sorry enough, or how sorry I am. I behaved like a complete dickhead and I’m so ashamed of myself.

**From Pedro:** Honestly if you never want to forgive me I don’t blame you but I’m so so sorry Hero, and I just want to let you know that.

**From Claudio:** Hero, I know I shouldn’t be sending you this message. You don’t deserve this message after everything that I did to you. When I heard about you and Robbie, I was sensitive. I’d sooner believe that you’d like someone else over me. Why I don’t know. I just wanted you to hurt the way I was hurting and I never thought that it would have the effect that it had and for that I am eternally sorry. I don’t think we should be friends anymore. I don’t deserve you’re friendship, I don’t deserve your respect and I certainly don’t deserve your forgiveness but. I’m sorry.

There was something about reading Claudio’s words that made her feel the way she did the day that he came to see her at the hospital, the day that he made her wake up. HE was damn right when he said that he didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He had messed with her life more than she could ever imagine but she just found that she couldn’t spend her whole life hating someone who she had once loved with all of her heart, and she found herself typing a response.

**To Claudio:** you little shit. I forgive you. I may retract that but for now I forgive you. I’m not saying that we can go back to the way things were, but maybe we could at least salvage a friendship. Thank you for waking me up.

The trouble with not reading any texts since her birthday was that at some point she was bound to come to the ones that were from that night. Some of them were just basic Happy Birthday texts from her family but even those made her feel nauseous but they were nothing compared to what she was about to read

**From Meg:** Hero Duke! I am appalled that you could stoop so low as to cheat on Claudio with my bloody boyfriend of all people. I get it, how could you not fancy Robbie right? I physically cannot believe you did this to me. I loved Robbie and you knew that but you still shagged him and I don’t want to be friends with you anymore you bitch!

She had read a text from Meg earlier which was obviously a retraction of what had just been said but it still hurt her to know that one of her best friends, someone who she thought had known her so well could have stooped down to Claudio’s level even if it was through jealousy. Was it really only Bea who had stood by her side the whole time?

Downstairs the guests were arriving as Hero quickly got changed. She’d completely lost track of time amidst all of her catching up with texts and Instagram. Beatrice was on door duty letting everyone in.

“Hero will be down in a minute” Bea said to a group of family friends who had just arrived at the door with a gift bag. Despite everyone being told that this wasn’t a party everyone apparently deemed it appropriate to bring presents for Hero even though they were explicitly told not to bring anything. That was when Bea felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh i wonder who could be texting Beatrice???


	11. somebody stole my car radio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pedro and Balthazar have a serious conversation that everyone has been expecting to happen for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may have noticed the change in the archive warnings, there will be death in this chapter there's no point in me trying to deny that fact so yeah.

It was five minutes past five. Pedro was late, not that Balthazar cared that much, maybe he’d been held up at home? With John being gone it was hard. His parents were always wondering where he was, in case he was going to run away too.

“Sorry I’m late” a familiar voice said from behind him.

“Don’t worry about it man” Balthazar replied smiling. He and Pedro hung out almost every day, and if they weren’t together, they were texting each other constantly so that was basically the same thing. Pedro had come out as bi to his friends a few days ago. He’d told Balthazar a week before. It appeared that they were open about things like that with each other more than with other people. There was one thing that they hadn’t talked about however, their feelings about each other. Balthazar had never been unsure about his feelings towards Pedro. He’d had a crush on him since year nine. It wasn’t one of those stupid schoolboy crushes that only lasts a week. In fact Balthazar was pretty sure that he never had or never will feel the same way about anyone else.

“I’m going to be honest with you” Pedro said.

“I’d like to think that we’re always honest with each other” Balthazar said smiling, anticipating what was coming. He hated getting his hopes up but somehow this time he felt like his four years of pining might finally be reaping the benefits.

Pedro let out a stream of air as he began to speak “If this isn’t what you want, please stop me before I embarrass myself”

“Carry on” Balthazar said urging him on, all he wanted was for his lips to be on Pedro’s, was that too much to ask?

“Shit man, I like you” he said, his face turning a bright shade of red which Balthazar thought was utterly adorable.

“I like you too man, but that’s hardly new information” Balthazar said with a touch of sarcasm in his voice. “We literally hang out everyday”

“No as in I may like you as more than just a friend, I think I realised a while ago but I was too scared to act on it and now man I don’t know. I totally get it if that’s not how you see me and that’s fine we can just be friends but…”

Balthazar didn’t give him time to finish as he cut of his words with his mouth, closing that gap that had been haunting him since year nine, back when he was convinced that Pedro was nothing but straight. It was soft. He didn’t want to rush anything and even though Pedro had just blatantly told him that this was what he wanted, there was still a smidge of doubt in the back of his mind that thought that Pedro would still change his mind. That was until Pedro took charge and deepened the kiss. A new found confidence swelled inside Balthazar as four years’ worth of cooped up feelings poured out all at once and there wasn’t anything now that could wipe the smile off his face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” Balthazar laughed as he pulled away from Pedro.

“How long exactly?” Pedro asked

“Since like year nine” he said lowering his head slightly in embarrassment.

“So that could have happened years ago, why didn’t you say anything man?” His excitement made Balthazar’s stomach turn into butterflies, Had Pedro really liked him this whole time. Had he been blinded by his love for Pedro that he hadn’t even noticed what was right under his nose?

“Well I kind of wrote you an ode but obviously that wasn’t clear enough”

Pedro’s face dropped “Wow man I’m sorry,” he said “I hoped that’s what you meant but I was scared that caption wasn’t meant to offend you and if it did I’m so sorry I…”

Once again Balthazar cut off Pedro’s speech with a kiss. That was something that he could definitely get used to. “Don’t apologize. You’ve done that enough recently”

“I know but”

“Hey” Balthazar interjected, “You never gave me any inclination that you liked me so it was a stab in the dark I guess”

“You know I’ve liked you since year nine too. Ever since that incident with those bullies I knew that there was something different about you.” Pedro said finally “I guess I’m just more of a coward because I couldn’t admit it”

“Well you’ve admitted it now and now we can proceed to the making out”

“Maybe not here though” Pedro laughed as he looked around at the tree’s that were surrounding them. They were in a secluded area of the public park but it was still too open. “Let’s save that for later”

“We should probably head to Hero’s now” Balthazar said “I can drive you if you‘d like”

“That’s be great,” Pedro replied “I’m so glad that she’s better”

“Me too, now let’s go” He grabbed Pedro’s hand and led him towards where his car was parked, just outside the park gates. He looked down at their hands and smiled. “It fits”

“Better than any other guys ever could” Pedro winked at him. How was this his reality? He was officially dating the guy that he’d been in love with for four years, and he’d just quoted his own cheesy love song to him. Life really was great.

When they got to the car, Pedro flicked on the radio, and they were greeted to the sound of The Darkness’ ‘I Believe In a Thing Called Love” a song that Pedro was very proud to know all the words too so naturally he spent the start of the journey singing along extremely enthusiastically and he even played the guitar riffs on air guitar.

“Why do I even need a radio when I have this musical prodigy beside me” Balthazar said laughing.

“Balth Watch out” Pedro screamed as he reverted his vision back to the road. The last thing that he remembers seeing was a car driving out of control towards them. Balthazar spun the steering wheel as he swerved the car to avoid hitting the woman driving the other. That was the moment when he lost control of the vehicle. He’d deviated too much that he couldn’t get it back straight, there was an almighty crunch as he was flung forward, the airbag blowing out encapsulating him, his face burning from the impact. When he was thrust back up again he could barely see through the shattered glass but he could just about make out a brick wall, he turned to his left to see if Pedro was okay but instead he found him there lying lifeless, eyes wide open.

“Pedro?” Balthazar said meekly, shaking his boyfriend in an attempt to wake him up, an attempt he knew was pointless but one that he was going to make anyway. “Pedro man, please don’t leave me. Not after what just happened, I can’t lose you I can’t. I love you.” He pulled Pedro’s lifeless body into an embrace and broke down into a sob. Why had this had to happen to him, today had started off as the greatest day of his life but now it had come full circle and it was now undeniably the worst. He knew he had no choice but to haul himself from the wreckage and leave Pedro’s body behind. There was already a crowd of people gathering around to see if everything was alright. One of them had appeared to already have called emergency services who were on their way. A woman had held his hand as he cried into her shoulder, Balthazar had never been one for strangers but now he really didn’t care. All he wanted was Pedro back. This was all his fault. He had crashed the car. He had killed his best friend and boyfriend, the one person that he had ever really loved. He pulled out his phone which for some reason was still intact and started writing a message, sniffling as he typed each letter.

 **To Beatrice:** We can’t make it to Hero’s party tonight sorry. We’ve had a bit of an accident. I can’t tell you too much because I still don’t know what happened. Pedro’s dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly eternally sorry for what I have just done, this physically pained me to write i'm sorry.


	12. INTERLUDE

“Everyone get out now” Bea shouted as she read the text that had just come through on her phone.  “The party is over”

**From Balthazar:** We can’t make it to Hero’s party tonight sorry. We’ve had a bit of an accident. I can’t tell you too much because I still don’t know what happened. Pedro’s dead.

“What’s wrong” Ben said rushing over to her side, the last time she’d acted like that was after Hero’s birthday. Bea never complained about having people round so obviously there was something up. A small crowd of people gathered around her as she helplessly rotated in a circle trying to locate Ben.

“Balthazar just text me,” she replied shaking. Balthazar wouldn’t lie about something that this she thought. So obviously it had to be true. “Pedro’s dead”

She hadn’t realised how much she still cared about Pedro until now. Now that he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making you relive that again :(


	13. i know that this is not goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you could tell how popular Pedro was from the sheer number of people that turned up to his funeral.

There were hundreds of black clad people bustling around the cemetery. Pedro had been adored by all: his friends, relatives and even teachers, in fact almost the whole of Western Springs was in attendance.  They were holding the service in the chapel in the crematorium but there were far too many people there for everyone to fit into the small room, clearly no one had realised just quite how popular Pedro had been. When you walked into the room there was a small stage at the front just behind where the coffin was laying. Balthazar had been put in charge of playing a couple of songs as the guests arrived. He’d opted to play one of his favourite songs, ‘Kite’ by U2.  You could just about make out the words over the chatter and sobs of the congregation.

_“Who’s to say where the wind will take you,_  
 Who’s to say what it is will break you  
 I don’t know, which way the wind will blow  
 Who’s to say when the time will come around  
 Don’t want to see you cry  
 I know that this is not goodbye.”

_***_

When ten o’clock arose everyone took to their seats as Ann Donaldson took her position on the stage

“Thank you for coming” She choked out, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes blurring her vision. “When we sent out the open invitation we had no idea that so many of you would turn up. I’m just so glad that all of you felt so compelled be here to honour our son’s life and it just means so much to all of us”

She started crying after that, it was understandable of course it would be the logical reaction if your son had died a few days before.  “Now I’m going to hand over to my other son, John” Ann turned away from the congregation to compose herself before walking off the stage and taking a seat next to her husband, where she buried her head in his shoulder and let out a few sobs.

***

John slowly made his way up to the front; he was used to wearing black so the sea of people wearing black clothing made him at ease. It was just like being back at school with Cora, except it was really nothing like that.

“A week ago I would have said that I hated my brother,” John said, his words coming out slowly and slurred just as they usually did, “But now this is not true. It’s not only because he’s dead either although that might have something to do with why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.  There’s that saying you never appreciate what you have until it’s gone. That’s how I feel right now. I’m so ashamed of everything I’ve done against Pedro. I was a bit of a shitty brother, he always went out of his way to help me but I never cherished that, I always took it that he was boasting about how much better he was than me. It didn’t help either that he was constantly referred to as the Prince of Messina, What sort of title is that to live up to? So at school I just fell into his shadow. I didn’t even try to force my way out, he tried to help me and I can see that now but now it’s too late for me to offer my gratitude. I will try to live his legacy by being the Donaldson that I always wanted to be, I know that I can never fill the hole that Pedro will leave in everyone’s lives but I will do my best to try.

***

Benedick was next to speak; his usual happy face was instead painted with one of hurt and despair.

“All round great guy, that’s what Pedro was. He was a friend to everyone and probably one of the best friends that I could ever have hoped for. When I moved to Messina way back when, Pedro was the first one to offer me a hand. He took pity on that small scrawny English nerd and he became my friend. Pedro, the most popular guy in the year was my friend. I’m sure I was a menace yet Pedro didn’t seem to care, he liked me for who I was and that was a pathetic, ignorant, perpetually British child with a severe obsession with sci fi tv shows. I literally don’t know how he put up with me but he did and I will be eternally thankful to him for that. Life’s going to be different now that Pedro’s not around, but let’s not dwell too much on that, let’s spend today thinking about how great a person Pedro was and how great it was to know him.” Ben’s voice cracked as he said his closing words and a tear ran down his cheek, “I love you man”

Sentimentality had never been a strong point of his but as he blinked and looked down at the congregation he saw the emotion in everybody’s eyes and he began to cry, no matter how much he told himself he wasn’t going to cry, there was something about being up on that stage and sharing your heart with so many people all of whom are struggling with the same thing as you. He reached his hand out to the crowd towards Beatrice “Bea?” he said beckoning her up to the stage.

***

Bea followed the lead of her boyfriend’s hand and joined him on the stage, he had tried to leave but he grabbed his hand and whispered to him to stay. Normally Bea was confident but today she really just felt like she needed someone there to support her and Ben was going to be that person.

“Pedro Donaldson is an asshole” Beatrice said, not entirely the words that the congregation had been expecting to hear, especially not from one of his closest friends. “That’s what I’ve been thinking for the past few weeks. With my cousin Hero being sick, this could be her funeral. I know firsthand the pain that you feel in your heart knowing that someone you love very much might die. Fortunately Hero is alive but Pedro isn’t. I can still remember the day that Pedro and I met, it was at the beach whenever I was up visiting Auckland in the summer, we instantly bonded and we’ve been friends ever since. After Hero’s party, whenever she got sick, I avoided Pedro. I avoided him for longer than I should have. I just couldn’t bear the thought of him not being on my side so even when he apologized I didn’t care, he had doubted Hero’s innocence and I was determined that it was something that I would never forgive him for. When I heard the news that Pedro was dead I felt a huge surge of regret, Pedro had died while I was still mad at him. If I could change anything about the past, it would be to tell Pedro that I forgive him. I always had forgiven him I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it.”

Bea and Ben just stood there hand in hand for a few seconds before heading back down to their seats. There was an eerie silence filling the room as the stage lay bare before the final speaker made their way to the platform. It was Balthazar.

***

“I am fortunate to be standing up here today” Balthazar said as he took a deep breath. “I actually feel guilty being here. I was driving the car when we crashed. I killed my best friend. But Pedro was more than just a friend to me. He was the person that I’d been in love with ever since year nine.  I’d lived my entire life in anticipation of the day that we could actually be together never dreaming that it would actually happen. And now when it finally did, I blew it. I blew it in the most dramatic way possible. I killed him. I’ll never forget what happened that day, both the good parts and the bad parts. I think the memories will haunt me for the rest of my life because I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same way about anyone ever again. I wish I had have had time to write an appropriate song for today but I’m going to sing a song by one of my favourite bands instead. I think it conveys how I’m feeling pretty well. I love you Pedro, I always have and I always will”

_“Now the night is coming to an end,  
 the sun will rise and we will try again._

_Stay alive, stay alive for me_  
 You will die but now your life is free  
 Take pride in what is sure to die

_I will fear the night again,  
 I hope I’m not my only friend_

_Stay alive, stay alive for me_  
 You will die but now your life is free  
 Take pride in what is sure to die”

As Balthazar played the last chord the tears poured out of his eyes as the congregation applauded softly drawing a close to what had been one of the most difficult funerals that any of the attendees had ever been too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is painful and I'm sorry  
> *also apparently this fic has become sponsored by twenty one pilots*


	14. epilogue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been two years since Pedro hand died...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *everything in this is completely non canon and has nothing to do with lll*

It had been two years since Pedro had died and everyone had gone their separate ways. All of their friends had moved away and gone to different universities scattered across the country. Bea had gone travelling but now that she was home she and Ben were studying in Wellington together. Ursula had gone on to study film at Auckland University. Hero and John had ended up at the same art school and had weirdly become friends, which was something that nobody had been expecting, not after how he had treated her. Balthazar was studying music at the New Zealand School of Music and his music career had started to take off as he was getting more and more gigs playing all around the country and he’d just released his first EP. Claudio wasn’t part of their group anymore. It was as much a conscious decision on his part as well as Bea sort of kicking him out.

It had been two years since Pedro had died and everyone had decided that it would be a good idea to get everyone back together again for another picnic on the hill since everyone was home for the summer. Bea and Ben were already there when Balthazar arrived; it had been their idea after all. Meg arrived with her new boyfriend, this guy was a lot nicer that Robbie which everyone was pleased to see. Hero and John arrived just after that after what had appeared to be a date. Ursula followed and soon enough the whole gang was back together, minus one person of course.

It had been two years since Pedro had died and Balthazar had a new man in his life. He had come along to the picnic too, it had been an open invitation that they could bring a plus one and everyone knew Tony anyway; they had gone to school with him for four years after all. Balthazar and Tony had dated very briefly back at Messina, it had only been a few weeks in year ten when Tony had first come out, but he soon realised that he couldn’t handle the pressure of being the only openly gay couple in the school and quickly retracted his sexuality. He had hurt Balthazar when that had happened which was why it was surprising to the rest of the gang to see him there. Balthazar and Tony had ended up at the same university with Balthazar studying music, and Tony, music technology. They had bumped into each other on campus a few times before they had started talking again. It was nice to have someone vaguely familiar on campus with him so soon enough Balthazar had asked Tony out for coffee. Tony had come to terms with his sexuality a lot more in the past years, he had realised that being gay was not something to be ashamed of, it was who he was. They had started dating a few weeks later.

It had been two years since Pedro had died and Balthazar knew now what he had to do, he’d brought his guitar especially for it. It had been a long time since he’d played this song in fact it had been two years ago on a piano in his bedroom. It was online though and sometimes he liked to listen to it when times without Pedro got tough. He often found himself smiling at things and thinking to himself ‘Pedro would have liked this’.  It had taken him a while to get back in his car again after what had happened but that was only one of the fears that he had developed that day. In the two years since Pedro’s death he’s never been back to that bench in the park where they shared their first kiss. That was one memory that was too painful for Balthazar to relive.

“I’ve got a song to sing” Balthazar said as he pulled his guitar out of its case, a shy smile appearing across his face.

“Balth you don’t have to do this” Ursula said, he had told her his plan the night before. He knew that Ursula had his best interests at heart but this was something that he really wanted and needed to do.

“No Urs,” He replied “I have to do this”

He struck the first chord. It felt odd hearing it come out of his guitar rather than from his keyboard.

_“It seems it’s about time_   
_That these words were spoken,_   
_With all these people_   
_Saying that they’re hoping_   
_For this all round great guy_   
_To have someone by his side_   
_Well that picture would look alright_   
_Cause he’s Pedro he’s anybody’s type.”_

He looked around and saw his friends teary eyed, as it turns out they hadn’t heard this song in a while either, and it was having a very strong emotional effect on them.

_“From what you’ve told me_   
_He seems like he could be_   
_The one for you_   
_I don’t think I’m the only one_   
_Who feels this way_   
_About the both of you_

_Would he look good next to you,_  
  _Would his hand fit in yours_  
 _I bet it would_  
 _Better than any other guy’s ever could_  
 _This is an ode to Pedro”_

As he struck the chords for the instrumental he looked around once again. No one said anything. Everybody just listened intently to every single word and every single note that Balthazar sang and even they couldn’t tell whether the tears that they were crying were happy or sad.

_“I reckon he will find someone_  
  _And I’ve got no idea who it’ll be_  
 _Out of everyone_

_Known him this long_   
_Never seen him do no wrong_   
_There’s one thing I’ve found_   
_We all seem to find that there’s_   
_Just not enough Pedro to go around”_

He felt tony squeeze his leg gently as he carried on into the final chorus. At least his current boyfriend didn’t care too much that he was singing a love song to his dead ex. Pedro was more than just his dead ex though and as much as he liked and cared for Tony, his feelings for him would never come anywhere close to the feelings that he had for Pedro. What he said in his eulogy still rang true. ‘I love you Pedro, I always have and I always will’.

_“Would he look good next to you_  
 Would his hand fit in yours  
  _I bet it would_  
 _Better than any other guys ever could_  
 _This is an Ode”_

As he strummed the final chord he closed his eyes and he could almost imagine Pedro smiling at him, telling him that everything was going to be alright. He opened his eyes and looked over the view of Auckland that you could see so clearly from the hill and he took a deep breath in.

_“To Pedro”_

_**fin.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! Thank you to everyone that stuck with this until the end I'm very grateful to you all. Sorry for all the pain that I caused along the way!!


End file.
